Plague-in-a-bottle

The screen flickers to life in grainy black and white. A playful, old-timey jazz tune plays in the background. The animation is rubbery and exaggerated—every movement is fluid and stretchy. Rat appears with bouncy, animated steps, his long coat swishing comically with each motion. 

"Well, well, well! Are you troubled by pests of the human variety? Tired of those annoying problems that just *won’t* go away? Looking for a... more efficient solution?"

Rat wobbles back and forth with a springy movement, tipping his oversized hat to the camera. His gloved hand extends, comically long and noodle-like, as he reaches into his coat. The animation style exaggerates the motion as his arm stretches in a bendy arc, pulling out a tiny vial of bubbling green liquid. The vial sparkles dramatically.

"Allow me to introduce you to my little problem solver... Plague-in-a-bottle! Bio-chemical warfare all in the palm of your hand, with just a few drops your victim won't know what hit them."

With a pop, Rat uncorks the vial, and an animated mist spills out, dancing through the air like a mischievous cartoon character. The mist twists and turns, giggling as it zigzags through the screen toward a group of happy, bouncing silhouettes at the end of the alley.

The figures, smiling and swaying to the music, suddenly freeze as the mist reaches them. Their eyes bulge comically, their mouths forming exaggerated ‘O’s of surprise. One by one, they start coughing, their bodies bending and twisting in exaggerated loops as the plague takes hold. Their eyes spin in dizzy circles as they collapse into cartoonish piles, their bodies wobbling like jelly.

"No need for mess, no need for fuss! Just uncork and let the plague do the rest!"

Rat watches with a wide, exaggerated grin, his head bobbing as if humming to the jaunty tune. He tosses the vial over his shoulder with a playful spin, and it lands with a puff of smoke, vanishing cartoonishly.

He points a long, bendy finger at the camera, leaning forward with a sly wink.

"Need something special? We’ve got *all* kinds of flavors! Respiratory devastation? No problem. Slow, agonizing decay? Consider it done. Tailor-made for each client’s... *unique* requirements!"

As the narrator lists the options, Rat pulls out a series of oversized vials, each labeled with playful, spooky text: “Respiratory Ruin,” “Total Decay,” and “Boil & Bubble.” Rat spins them around like juggling balls before letting them fall and disappear with a comic poof of dust.

The mist snakes its way back to Rat, twirling around his body like a mischievous pet. He raises his arms, and the fog forms into a little tornado that spins around his head, lifting his hat with a whoosh. 

Under his hat is a vial that is labeled “Rat King.” Rat breaks the fourth wall, grabs the camera, and says.

“Shhh… we don't talk about that one.”

Before his hat lands back down with a little bounce.

"Plague-in-a-bottle—why dirty your hands when a plague can do it for you!"

Rat waves at the camera, his arms stretching out elastically as he tips his hat once again. 

“Your problems are just a drop away.”